On the Road...

Today was a historic day! I bet you were eating lunch or watching USA vs. Canada hockey and didn't even realize that I was out changing the (my) world!  

Today in my training for the 5K in two weeks, I moved from treadmill running to running outside. Not only that, but today's training run is the biggest hurtle in the Couch to 5K running program. The dreaded "Week 5 Day 3" -- running continuously for 20 minutes.  Doesn't sound like a big deal, but "Week 5 Day 2" is two 8 minute runs with 5 minutes of walking in between. Kind of a big difference for those of us in the limited running ability category. But... I did it! And I did it on my first run outside! I have to admit, I was pretty intimidated by everything I had heard about adjusting from treadmill running to running outside. And it didn't help that Eric ran right before me and came home complaining about how much his legs were hurting. I can't recall the last time I ran for 20 straight minutes, and am not sure I have ever run this far outside without walking in my entire life. That's a pretty big accomplishment, right?

Observations from my first run outside:

* I found myself able to think about something other than running! When I run on the treadmill, I become obsessed with the amount of time I've been running (or the amount of time I have left). The time obsession kicks my panic response into overdrive and I start to tense up, worrying that I won't be able to run as long or far as I'm supposed to. Outside, I spent time worrying about being hit by a car (surrounding neighborhoods don't have great sidewalks/bike lanes), looking at horses, enjoying the sunshine on my face, checking out upcoming terrain... even composing this blog! I was able to really listen to and appreciate the music on my IPod, which hasn't really been happening often when I run on the treadmill.

* At first, I thought I couldn't do it! Those first few steps were scary. And I'm not just talking about the familiar "I really should have gone to the bathroom before I started this!" thought. I expected the same result I have had over and over when it comes to running. In short, I expected to run one block and then feel like I couldn't breathe or lift my legs. But then I made it through that first block and I remembered I've been practicing for this! I may not have great form, and I may not have been running very fast, but I was doing it!!

* I set smaller goals for myself.  I think my dad probably gets the credit here. I don't have a specific recollection of him teaching me to do this, but a vague sense that he did. Or maybe it's just because he ran when I was growing up. Anyway, I do well when I get to accomplish something, so I like setting small goals along the way to the end goal.  And that is what I did today. Once I survived that first block, I set a goal about a half a mile away. And then I didn't think about it again until I got there. When I got there and realized I could breathe and move and keep going, I was really proud of myself!

* I knew I could make it! I didn't run wearing a watch on purpose so I wouldn't know how much longer I was supposed to run.  But Eric and I had talked about a route for my run (keeping in mind my approximate speed), so I knew when I made the turn back towards our neighborhood that I had to be about half way. And that last stretch to home was a long straight path where I thought about my upcoming 5K.  I had a pretty good stitch in my side at that point, but my legs felt good and I just kept telling myself "keep on moving" and "you are going to do this!" And I knew I could do it.  Not only that, but I know now that I have a really good chance of running the entire 5K on the 13th. I know I can do it.

NBC Olympics coverage conspires to steal much needed sleep

I have always been a big fan of the Olympics.  I remember watching every minute of figure skating as a kid. I remember Rosalynn Sumners competing in the Olympics when I was 7.  I loved it enough that I love the movie Ice Castles (which I just found out is being remade soon INCLUDING a remake of Melissa Manchester's Through the Eyes of Love).

So, it drives home all of the things I have been hearing from friends about how horrible the Olympic television programming is this year.  Last night they didn't start showing the women's skating here until well past 10pm. I'm pretty sure my parents weren't keeping me up that late to watch figure staking while I was in elementary school. Pretty much nightly I sit down to watch the Olympics, check out the little blurb on the "info" about what will be showing and am moderately to very interested in what it says will be on in primetime.  But every night I have been disappointed as the programming during the hours I am normally still awake (8-10pm) includes highlights of snow dogs or ice fishing and "thrilling" events like cross country skiing or ski jumping (my least favorite winter Olympics sport). 

Seriously, I know I am a stay at home mom and a person who tends to need more sleep than average, but does the average person REALLY stay up until midnight so they can watch figure skating or speed skating? I'm truly perplexed. Maybe I just have a really warped sense of what other adults are doing at their houses while I am fast asleep.

Comfort and Perspective

Since the fall, I have been involved in a Friday morning Bible study focusing on Job. I have to admit, when I learned that Job was the focus of the school year length study, I was a little disappointed. I have tended, in the past, to view Job as a "bummer" book. Lots of long-winded complaining and arguing, misunderstanding God, suffering.

The study we are using is called Job: Lessons in Comfort, and has changed my mind about the book of Job.  In addition to really focusing on the specifics of the arguments, the study connects Job to God's promises, both in the form of His covenant with His people and also Job's request for an "arbitrator" who comes later in the form of Jesus.  And the book is strong in the area of application. How can we use the lessons from Job to learn to comfort others and find comfort for ourselves?

Many times in the past months I have thought about how timely this study has been for me. True, my comfort needs have been minimal, but my opportunities to comfort have been many. It seems like every other week someone close to us has been diagnosed with cancer, suffered a serious heart ailment, had a miscarriage, lost a job, lost a loved one or something similarly life-shaking.

How to respond to those that are in need of comfort? I still have a lot to learn, but the key points from our discussions so far include:

* Be willing to silently mourn when needed
* Offer support in whatever way is needed
* Remember our brothers and sisters in prayer
* Keep focus and hope on Jesus
* Learn God's promises and understand that they are solid

Throughout the course of the past few months of working on this study, I have also gotten some enhanced perspective on my own problems.  Having a busy husband and two toddlers is hardly a "problem" compared to what other people are facing.  Struggling with anxiety is a chance to come to God in vulnerability and know that He makes things right. Last Sunday, our Pastor's sermon was taken from Psalms 42 & 43 and focused on attributes of prayer, but he said one thing that really stood out from me as I've been thinking more about the idea of comfort and perspective:

"Think about this: What are you so down in the dumps about? Did God fall from His throne in heaven?... Did God stop loving you?... Did His grace run out?"

Praise God, the answer is no.  And really, those are the questions that matter.

My commitment to overcommitting

I've been away for awhile. Living the busy life of a mom - sick children, sick me, busy husband, travel with husband (and kids) for school competition, training for a 5K, book club, etc. etc. etc.

Our family is now well into the 6th month we have been living here. Know what that means? Time for me to start committing myself to way more things than I can probably handle! Why? Because I like too many things and lots of people/groups need helpers with time, something that I have, at least in theory.

******
o·ver·com·mit (ō'vər-kə-mĭt')
v. o·ver·com·mit·ted, o·ver·com·mit·ting, o·ver·com·mits
v. tr.
To bind or obligate (oneself, for example) beyond the capacity for realization.
*****

I kind of like this definition because of the use of the word "realization". It calls to mind REALITY and REAL. As in, can I REALLY expect to do all of these things, in REALITY?

I'm currently playing with the idea of committing (overcommitting?) to two fairly large, but short term, responsibilities at our church/school: head softball coach for the middle school and Vacation Bible School coordinator.

Softball coach:
+ desperately needed, I love softball and have some skills (or at least I did 10 years ago when I last played!)
- problems with what to do with my kids during games and practices

VBS coordinator
+ in the past the church has apparently had trouble finding a coordinator for this, it's up my alley in the "organizing, planning" skill set
- I am totally unfamiliar with VBS and the amount of work scares me

In both cases, it would be cool to do something to help provide a good program for some of the BL kids and I'd get to know more BL families and moms better. And, in both cases, it would mean adding significant time to a new commitment when I sometimes feel like I'm barely holding it together as it is.

Thinking, thinking...

Ability to Estimate = Cool New Toy for the Kids!

Last Saturday, my mom and I took the kids to the Tri-Cities Family Expo.  Eric was working at the booth for the school and we walked around playing and collecting up info from different programs and resources for children and families in our area. Got lots of free goodies!

One of the big draws at some of the booths was a "Guess how many..." contest. I guessed how many M&M's were in a giant glass container at the RDO Equipment booth (while the kids sat in kid sized John Deere equipment). Yesterday I found out I won 2nd place!!!

Here is what we won...

A John Deere Radio Controlled Dozer!!

Little Man is scared of mechanical noises, so he is less than pleased with the prize at this point. In the store when the manager gave it to us and showed me how to use it, he cried and said, "I don't like that toy, Mama!" Luckily he will get used to it!

Thank you RDO Equipment for the cool prize!! We're going to get years of use out of this bad boy!

5K Training Update

I have been following the Couch to 5K running plan for the last few weeks. One of my big goals that seemed pretty out of reach in the past has been to actually run an entire 5K. I have a pretty decent 5K time walking and pushing the kids in a double jogging stroller, but I haven't run a 5K since my dad forced me to run one with him (and my sister) when I was about 12. I did win a 3rd place medal for my age group... because there were only three of us entered.

My original "get serious" goal was to run the Fall Frolic that the school sponsors every fall. But I decided that the time is NOW and set a goal to try to run the St Patrick's 5K in March. Couch to 5K is a plan to help new runners go from "the couch" (not running at all) to being able to run a 5K in about 8 weeks.

I started off pretty well. I actually skipped week 1 because I am in pretty good shape, just not a good runner, and week 1 didn't seem like much of a challenge. I did fine starting with week 2.  I found a free podcast on ITunes with Christian songs and cues for each week of the Cto5K plan. The music, however, was lame. It honestly sounded like a random guy with recording capability and a guitar singing his own songs. 

When I moved up to week 3, I decided I needed to get more serious about the cue podcast I was using. I really need music that motivates me.  Luckily, lots of people have successfully done Couch to 5K and lots of people create playlists with cues for each week.  I found one that I like and that works well for me, though I haven't recommended it to friends because some of the songs are the unedited (profanity laced) versions.  Pretty cool that I don't have to bother with keeping track of the time between when I start to run and am ready to stop.  I would have a hard time if I had to literally count down the seconds until I got to be finished running. 

This weekend I was supposed to start week 4. Because the time involved is only 8 weeks, there are a few times where you really jump up quite a bit in the amount of running you are doing. Going from week 3 to week 4 is one of those places. Last week, while running week 3, I felt pretty good. For the first time in... forever?... I was feeling like being ready to run a 5K in March, let alone this year, is actually possible. I was feeling that I can do it.

And now, a problem. I am having serious trouble with my feet and ankles. I'm sure it's form related, in addition to the newness of running. Doesn't help that I have pins in one kneecap, very high arches and historically weak ankles. I was taped daily for 3 years in college in order to work out, practice and play softball. Why it didn't occur to me that this would happen is beyond me. So, I'm in "athlete mode" now. I've hit the store for athletic supplies that "remind me of my youth" -- Mineral Ice, anyone?

Now my motivation is lacking. Or at least the positive mindset is faltering. I have found that if I take more than 2 days between runs, it is really hard to keep up with the progression of the Couch to 5K. I haven't successfully run now since Thursday, which means that more than likely I will have to restart week 3 again (or maybe even week 2) when I am able to run again.  In the meantime, I keep making attempts. I do my stretching and warm up walking and make it through about a minute of running, feeling like I'm running with concrete legs and feet, before the pain is enough that I have to stop. And once again my goal of running an entire 5K seems so far away.

My plan is to take this entire week off from running attempts. Hopefully at least with that time off I will feel more comfortable overall, if not when I start trying to run again. I will probably register this week for the St Pat's 5K and, if it comes to it, I'll be prepared to walk/jog it. It'll still be progress towards the goal.

Facebook Conclusion? Lessons Learned...

Today was day 2 of my "email Facebook daily asking for my account to be reinstated" plan. And this afternoon I convinced my husband to start a Facebook group called "Reinstate Amanda ______ _________'s Facebook Page!" in order to try to gather support for my cause. Astonishingly, Eric's little group, sort of a joke, had 30 members only a few hours later, some of whom are people who don't even know me! It was silly, but it made me feel loved.

So, maybe the mental energy worked because... I'm back on Facebook! I hestitantly logged on and am sure that at least a day or two will pass before I lose the fear that my every keystroke is being monitored somewhere in the world by a person planning to steal my identity.

To conclude my series of blogs about my Facebook adventure, here are a few things I've learned over the past few days:

1) Apparently Facebook has a bad reputation for disabling accounts without any explanation, and some of the time those accounts are never reestablished. Something to keep in mind when you start thinking of Facebook as an eternal keeper of photographs, memories, email addresses or important correspondence.

2) Facebook *may* bend to peer pressure. All I know is that I sent 2 emails yesterday and 1 today and have a tiny group of vocal supporters on Facebook and I am back, while a google search using the words "facebook", "account" and "disabled" shows many many cases that didn't resolve nearly as quickly. Just sayin'...

3) For a "big" social networking site, there are some pretty stupid problems they have that are readily apparent to an outsider. The first being the lack of even a standard email indicating they are taking action related to an account. The second, which I just learned, is this (and I'm kind of shocked by this one): Once you set up a security question and answer on Facebook, you can't change your question or the answer! Seems strange. I hurredly created a security question post-hack and, in fact, the answer I created for the question isn't even factually correct - luckily I remember what I picked as my answer! - and now that I have access to my account again, I thought I would again change my password and security question just to be safe. And I just read in the "help" section (again, not so helpful) that if a security question is established, it can't be changed.

4) View your Facebook page from the eye of a thief. Example: If your security question is "What is your mother's maiden name?" it isn't a good idea to have your mother's facebook page that includes her maiden name linked to your account under "relationships". Also not a good idea to make public your entire birthdate with year.  I have already gone through and weeded out info that may be used by a hacker to access other sources. 

Alright, time to let go of this Facebook stress for the night! Goodnight everybody!